Paul Greene – Divine Guidance in Lincoln or Beelzebub on the M42

Pictures and Words by Paul Greene

Were the forces of good and evil at play when Sue and I first encountered this strange car, which gives more smiles per gallon than any other vehicle on the road? I guess not really, it is just an alternative way of looking at things!!

Please read on

There we were, me and Sue, minding our own business, just travelling back from an excursion to Holland. We had got off the ferry in Hull and were travelling south to Melton Mowbray-Pork pie capital of the UK. Then the idea surfaced that we break the journey up and call in for elevenses in the city of Lincoln. I don’t know which one of us suggested this -It was obviously one of us-or was there some kind of divine intervention occurring?

We chose a pub very close to the magnificent cathedral in that city. Was there a guiding hand at play??-There are many places serving coffee we could have used. Part way through a well-earned cappuccino, a funny little brown car arrived and parked opposite the pub. The driver disappeared-but shortly returned with a second of these small brown cars-this was followed by a 3rd-all the same colour. The cars certainly started to attract attention. I was in the market for an older car and was pretty convinced it would be a Morris Minor.

Anyway, I made a few mental notes before we left Lincoln, and on arriving back I put the Internet to work. After a relatively short time – I decided that Figaro was the one for me and Sue.

I especially liked some of the customised colours- Red particularly caught my eye. I found a garage in the west midlands that had produced some customised cars, so off we went to view our possible car. It was a low-mileage green version, the car was solid and everything seemed to operate. We had a test drive in a recently completed car, left a deposit, and waited for a phone call to arrange collection.

A few weeks later, the call came through, the car was ready for collection!! Fantastic -so on a sunny Sunday morning, we caught the train over to Birmingham. Excitedly we set off in the reddest red car I have ever seen.

“Having had the divine guidance leading us to the Figaro in Lincoln, little did we know that the demon “Beelzebub” was about to test our commitment to the car”

After about 20 mins -on our maiden voyage- we came to a halt (overheating If I remember?), on the hard shoulder of the M42. The motorway was extremely busy and noisy. So deafening was the noise on the motorway – I could not hear the mobile phone in the car. I needed somewhere quiet!? Having seen Chris Bonington climb a few peaks in his time, the steep embankment on the motorway held no fears for me. Leaping like a gazelle over the fence at the top (this is where Sue and I recall the incident differently – Sue described my masterful leap to be more like a pathetic grovel under some barbed wire, which snagged one of my best jumpers and almost reduced me to tears?! Surely Sue was not remembering the incident clearly??) Anyway, once over the fence at the top-I found myself surrounded by a flock of sheep-several of whom showed a great deal of interest in my telephone conversations with the garage owner and rescue services!!

Our resolve was being tested, who would win, Good v Evil!

Suffice to say the goodies won the day!! Hooray! The car was sorted and returned to us-and ever since we have had the best of times. The car has graced the circuits of Silverstone and Donington – plus the Ace cafe several times. It also transported my eldest daughter on her wedding day.

One last little thing-Joining the owners club followed on very quickly. My partner and co-pilot -Sue, resides in Hyde Heath-only a stone’s throw from club HQ in Holmer Green-Kevin + Sue-Fancy a burn up the Earl Howe road-actually it would probably be more of a Steady Smoulder!

Paul Greene + Sue Alaway

Published on 2nd August 2022

Paul Greene – Divine Guidance in Lincoln or Beelzebub on the M42

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